BEHAVIOR FOR LIVING IN MEXICO

When we come to spend time in new countries, maybe even live there for a short or long while, it’s only natural to be curious about their peoples’ customs and behaviors.  In fact, as we move about the world, we find differences and commonalities between cultures.  For example, Mexico is a very “feeling” oriented society. During my more than 20 years here, I’ve come to really appreciate the “warm” and friendly behavior I see every day.

When you live with a Mexican family, no matter if you are related to them or not, common everyday courtesy is important.  For example:

            

      -Family members and the people living with them take time to greet each other by shaking hands and giving each other a small hug.  There’s also a kiss on the cheek between females as well as between males and females.  Accompanying these exchanges are spoken salutations like “good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening”.  Such behaviors must be genuine because fakery is sensed immediately.  Family members, however, do give newcomers time to adjust.

            

      -When you’re at the table or just talking with others at home and you need to leave for a moment or two, take time to excuse yourself; for instance, by saying, “Con permiso.” which means “excuse me”.

      

      -When you close a door, take care to shut it quietly; otherwise, people will think you are angry.

      -Before you depart the home in route to work, school, or anywhere else, take time to “take your leave” from the family.  This may mean that you need to go to the kitchen to say “good-bye” to the principal people in the home, and you’ll also need to tell them where you’re going.  Do this even if it’s only the housekeeper, maid, or servant who is at home. This courtesy is part of family security, and they want that for you too.  Everyday good-byes are also accompanied by appropriate handshakes, hugs, and small kisses.

      

      -When you arrive home after work, school, or being anywhere for a recognized period of absence, it’s customary to greet the people you find there.  Again, it’s handshakes, hugs and small kisses accompanied by verbal salutations, genuine, of course.

      

      -When meeting people who come to the home for the first time, greetings are usually conducted with the omission of the kiss on the cheek and the hug.  If, however, you see your hosts doing it, notice that it is being conducted with sincerity.

      

      -When you’re out and you find you are going to be away from the family for more than what is planned, then take time to call them, or you might find them waiting at the door for you when you return.  They’ll be concerned about you, and rightly so!  This is part of family security.

Everyday courtesies are also significant when you’re out in the Mexican public.  For example:

      -When you see people you know, greet them appropriately by shaking hands and exchanging kisses on the cheek, even if you’ve only just seen them the day before.  Remember, this is a feelings based society.

      

      -When you see people from a distance that you know, give them a small wave.

      -When you close a car door, do it without making any more noise than is necessary.  The typical American way of closing car doors, which is to shut them a little hard, makes people wonder if you’re angry.  Taxi drivers and others take offense.

      -Open doors for others, people appreciate it.

      -Let others go first when going into and out of doorways.

      -Be kind and courteous to people working in stores and restaurants as well as the police directing traffic.

      -When you speak to others, use a firm and peaceful tone of voice.

      -When you’re having trouble explaining what you want, don’t be surprised or embarrassed if the Mexican people around you try to help out.  Ask for assistance if you feel you need it.  This country is fast becoming bilingual, and the average citizen usually feels compelled to help if he or she sees someone having a bit of difficulty.  Always remember to thank them when they assist—you’ll make their day a happy one!

      -Remember to tip, especially in restaurants that you frequent—waiters and waitresses remember that.  Moreover, they are an excellent resource for information.

      -Also, remember to tip your barber or hair stylist when they do a great job.  They’ll appreciate you and do even better the next time you come.

Yes, I’ve come to appreciate the above rules of etiquette.  They are but a small part of what I observe in my Mexican family and public on a daily basis.  Every six months when I go to the United States with my wife, I miss the warmth I receive from the people here in my rural Mexican community, so it’s always good to return home.  For me, the average Mexican family has a lot to show others in the world in behalf of human kindness and interaction.  We should pay attention.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Wherever you are in the world during the Christmas and New Year's holiday festivities, especially if you're outside of your native country, it's incredibly fortunate if you have family and friends around you.  It's a time of year when many of us feel the absence of those we love so much.  Having others with us, such as our wonderful friends, the Hueska family above, my wife Rebe (center front) and son Israel (upper right), fills in the void with great joy!  They remind me of why I'm so grateful to be living here in Mexico.

TIPS FOR LIVING AND TRAVELING SECURELY IN MEXICO

Since the early 60s, I’ve lived and traveled in a number of countries outside the United States and given my personal security the highest priority.  In fact, it even shares the same level of importance when I visit the U.S. every six months for six weeks.  It seems that one just can’t be too secure nowadays.  However, we shouldn’t become paranoid about it, and that’s why many of us ex-pats have found that you can live, travel, and feel secure in Mexico if you follow some common sense tips:

      1 – Don’t be flashy.  For example don’t wear expensive watches or jewelry.

      2 – When getting money from an ATM, do it during daylight hours and not in isolated places. 

      3 – Stay out of problem areas.  All the world’s towns and cities have them.  Get a guide if you’re a tourist.  Ask hotel managers about the areas not to visit.

      4 – Pay attention to your surroundings, avoid dark areas.

      5 – Have copies made of your important documents.  In fact, scan them and email them to yourself.

      6 – Memorize emergency numbers.  For example, the equivalent of 911 in Mexico is 066.

      7 – Don’t carry more than one credit card at a time in your wallet.

      8 – Carry any bag or purse securely; preferably have a purse or pouch you carry around your waist if you come as a tourist.

      9 - For you guys, change your wallet from the back to the front pocket before you enter a crowded street or market.

      10 – When taking a taxi, especially in Mexico City, make sure it has a license displayed in the backdoor window and that the picture corresponds to the driver’s face.  Make a note of the tag or I.D. number.  Secondly, if there is no taxi meter, get the price of the trip before you get in the taxi.  Best of all, take a taxi from a secure stand (sitio) in Mexico City.

      11 – Write down your bank and credit card companies international phone numbers (800 numbers don’t work in Mexico).

      12 – For women, dress conservatively.  Ignore catcalls and wolf whistles.  Learn a few phrases like, “Estoy esperando por mi esposo.” (I’m waiting for my husband), and “Ayudame por favor.” (Help me, please).

      13 – Learn to speak at least a basic level of fluent Spanish if you plan on living here.

      14 – Never open the door of your home or your hotel room to anyone unless you have found out who they are.

      15 – Don’t take the subway in Mexico City unless it’s absolutely necessary. 

      16 – While waiting for a bus in any bus station, sit with the families and don’t involve yourself in a conversation with anyone who comes and asks you for the time.

      17 -- Pay attention to the travel advisories from the U.S. State Department.  Don't go to Northern Mexico unless you have to do so because of your job.

   
     18 -- If it's possible, practice the "buddy" system as we used to say in the military; that is, travel about in twos or more.

While the foregoing tips are the major rules that we follow here, there are many more; for example, if you plan on driving.  Even though I drive when my wife and I go to the U.S., and I’ve also driven here, Saudi Arabia, Europe, Mexico, and Asia, I don’t drive in Mexico now.  Of course, I’m retired and there is plentiful public transportation, but if I can avoid any interactions with the police, I prefer it. 

However, if I worked here, I would probably have a car.  And I would most certainly follow the guidelines given in the following website:  http://www.wikihow.com/Drive-in-Mexico-Without-Getting-Into-Trouble

I’ve lived in Mexico for almost 20 consecutive years, and I’ve always felt secure.  Of course, I’ve taken the time to follow the tips given above.  My wife and I have numerous friends and acquaintances who have lived and traveled in Mexico without incident for years.  Based on our experience, we know that anyone who chooses to visit or live here can be secure as well.  Just observe the rules of common sense and pay attention to the experience of others.  

YOGA IN PUEBLA, MEXICO

If a person chooses to live in the city of Puebla and wants to stay fit, I’d look up our friend and yoga teacher Juan Carlos Martínez Parra.  He’s the director of a yoga center called Sahasrara Yoga which is located across the street from Plaza Cristal, a well-known shopping center, in a nice area of this major metropolitan environment.

We’ve known Juan Carlos since 1997 when we met him at a meditation retreat in Mexico City.  Through the years we’ve come to recognize that he’s an extremely talented person.  Not only does he teach all levels of yoga, but he also instructs people in meditation, tai chi, and martial arts. Moreover, he’s a contributing writer for Yoghismo, one of the best yoga magazines here in Mexico, and he has a weekly internet radio program called Camino Sin Fronteras (Path Without Borders) (www.sabersinfin.com), where he interviews local people who are involved with various types of spiritual pursuits.

Anyone who comes to Juan Carlos’s classes will find him very personable, quite knowledgeable, and extremely capable.  If there is a need for translation, he always has students who are fluent in English.  For further information, please check his website www.yogapuebla.com.mx

RURAL CENTRAL MEXICO

When we leave our home for Apizaco, a small city in our area, we pass by the panorama you see above.  The large mountain at the rear of the photo is the Malintzi.  Its elevation is around 15,000 feet.  There is an excellent camping area with cabins a little over half way up, which is surrounded by forest.  Our property is about middle upper right on the photo.  

While there are a number of small towns around the Malintzi, there are also quite a number of citizens who love living in the country like we do.  The people here are quite friendly.  Their professions vary from construction workers and small farmers to doctors and engineers.

Now that we are into the rainy season (late May through early November), everything is beautifully green.  People are into growing their crops, going swimming at the nearby vacation area called the Trinidad, and just enjoying the wonderful climate.  What a wonderful time of year to be here!

DHAMMA VIHARA MEXICO

Although there are a number of places to go on meditation retreats in Central Mexico, one of our favorite locations is the monastery operated by Dhamma Vihara near Jilotepec, Veracruz.  Situated in the mountains about 30 minutes by taxi from the city of Jalapa, it’s easily one of the most beautiful places to seek solitude in this country.

The abbot of this monastery is the Venerable Bhikku Nandisena.  He’s not only fluent in Spanish and English but also has a high level of capability in Pali.  As a scholar and practitioner, he’s a truly kind-hearted and wise instructor and counselor, one my wife and I would recommend to anyone who has an interest in the discipline of meditation as a means to improve his or her life.

Here is an excellent view of the monastery where you can see the building that houses the kitchen and dining facilities.  On the right is a view of the porch in front of the meditation hall and the teacher’s quarters.  Practitioners who like walking meditation have ample opportunity to enjoy a space away from the noise of traffic, for there’s only the sound of birds and small animals being filtered through the forested environment.

Here we see a view of the dormitory located in back of the kitchen and dining facilities.  Each student is housed in a small but comfortable room.   Surrounded by nature, it is a wonderfully serene atmosphere in which to enjoy a pleasant night’s sleep.

Here is a side view of the meditation hall, teacher’s quarters, and meeting rooms.  There is sufficient space for around 30 or so practitioners and teachers. 

Please believe me when I say that walking meditation in the misty fog of the early mornings at this monastery is a unique experience, especially when you’re alone.  Even though I prefer sitting meditation, I’ll definitely defer that preference when such weather conditions prevail.

This is a photo of our first time at the monastery several years ago.  Pictured in the center, of course, is the Venerable Bhikku Nandisena.  Rebe and I are located on the lower left hand side.

The people in the Sangha who help manage the retreats are remarkably gracious and of great assistance.  They support us with assigned chores, assist with the cooking and serving, and offer helpful advice regarding practice.  Creating such a wonderful setting, they are largely responsible for why meditators return.  

Rebe and I have been here on retreat twice, and we’re going back again this fall.  We know that our time there will be productive and enjoyable.

The web address for Dhama Vihara Mexico is:  www.dhammavihara.org

A QUIET LUNCH

Last week on Monday, Rebe and I went for a quiet birthday lunch at the “Bistro”, one of our favorite restaurants in Apizaco, a small city about 15 minutes from our home.

We’ve been going to this establishment about once a month for more than six years.  It’s located in an old home about a block off the city square.  Although you can only see a small portion of the restaurant here, it can handle over 150 people for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  The service is excellent, the menu has a good variety, and the prices are in the middle range. 

We particularly like the Bistro because of its beautiful and comfortable environment, one in which we can take our time, bring our guests, and find the owners quite pleasant and responsive.  Also, if one chooses to linger on to read and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea after dining, he or she can feel contented to do so.

I’m sure that we’ll continue to appreciate this wonderful eating place for years to come.  It’s been particularly good for us.  We also go there to take a load off our feet and enjoy a pastry with something to drink during shopping trips in Apizaco.  We’re sure that others will have a pleasant experience there too.