BEHAVIOR FOR LIVING IN MEXICO

When we come to spend time in new countries, maybe even live there for a short or long while, it’s only natural to be curious about their peoples’ customs and behaviors.  In fact, as we move about the world, we find differences and commonalities between cultures.  For example, Mexico is a very “feeling” oriented society. During my more than 20 years here, I’ve come to really appreciate the “warm” and friendly behavior I see every day.

When you live with a Mexican family, no matter if you are related to them or not, common everyday courtesy is important.  For example:

            

      -Family members and the people living with them take time to greet each other by shaking hands and giving each other a small hug.  There’s also a kiss on the cheek between females as well as between males and females.  Accompanying these exchanges are spoken salutations like “good morning”, “good afternoon”, “good evening”.  Such behaviors must be genuine because fakery is sensed immediately.  Family members, however, do give newcomers time to adjust.

            

      -When you’re at the table or just talking with others at home and you need to leave for a moment or two, take time to excuse yourself; for instance, by saying, “Con permiso.” which means “excuse me”.

      

      -When you close a door, take care to shut it quietly; otherwise, people will think you are angry.

      -Before you depart the home in route to work, school, or anywhere else, take time to “take your leave” from the family.  This may mean that you need to go to the kitchen to say “good-bye” to the principal people in the home, and you’ll also need to tell them where you’re going.  Do this even if it’s only the housekeeper, maid, or servant who is at home. This courtesy is part of family security, and they want that for you too.  Everyday good-byes are also accompanied by appropriate handshakes, hugs, and small kisses.

      

      -When you arrive home after work, school, or being anywhere for a recognized period of absence, it’s customary to greet the people you find there.  Again, it’s handshakes, hugs and small kisses accompanied by verbal salutations, genuine, of course.

      

      -When meeting people who come to the home for the first time, greetings are usually conducted with the omission of the kiss on the cheek and the hug.  If, however, you see your hosts doing it, notice that it is being conducted with sincerity.

      

      -When you’re out and you find you are going to be away from the family for more than what is planned, then take time to call them, or you might find them waiting at the door for you when you return.  They’ll be concerned about you, and rightly so!  This is part of family security.

Everyday courtesies are also significant when you’re out in the Mexican public.  For example:

      -When you see people you know, greet them appropriately by shaking hands and exchanging kisses on the cheek, even if you’ve only just seen them the day before.  Remember, this is a feelings based society.

      

      -When you see people from a distance that you know, give them a small wave.

      -When you close a car door, do it without making any more noise than is necessary.  The typical American way of closing car doors, which is to shut them a little hard, makes people wonder if you’re angry.  Taxi drivers and others take offense.

      -Open doors for others, people appreciate it.

      -Let others go first when going into and out of doorways.

      -Be kind and courteous to people working in stores and restaurants as well as the police directing traffic.

      -When you speak to others, use a firm and peaceful tone of voice.

      -When you’re having trouble explaining what you want, don’t be surprised or embarrassed if the Mexican people around you try to help out.  Ask for assistance if you feel you need it.  This country is fast becoming bilingual, and the average citizen usually feels compelled to help if he or she sees someone having a bit of difficulty.  Always remember to thank them when they assist—you’ll make their day a happy one!

      -Remember to tip, especially in restaurants that you frequent—waiters and waitresses remember that.  Moreover, they are an excellent resource for information.

      -Also, remember to tip your barber or hair stylist when they do a great job.  They’ll appreciate you and do even better the next time you come.

Yes, I’ve come to appreciate the above rules of etiquette.  They are but a small part of what I observe in my Mexican family and public on a daily basis.  Every six months when I go to the United States with my wife, I miss the warmth I receive from the people here in my rural Mexican community, so it’s always good to return home.  For me, the average Mexican family has a lot to show others in the world in behalf of human kindness and interaction.  We should pay attention.